Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Why did the Mexican go to the food marke To get some food.

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Weiner

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops