yfygcugyuyc

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops