A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

PUDDING

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's 9+10=? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops