What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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American Idol

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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