A seal walks into a club.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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My butt!!!!

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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your face.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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