What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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DANA

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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penis that is all

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops