I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +13

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops