A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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nbjhfghl

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Baseball

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Womens rights

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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