Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...