What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...