What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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The holocaust

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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