A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Military intelligence.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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I like to eat.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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the cow goes moo

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Steering Wheel Face.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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