Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Child Prostitution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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the cow goes moo

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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