What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The joke below me is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

thumb_up thumb_down +18

haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops