you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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