Wumbo

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

Diana and victoria

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

My mom touched my wiener : \

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...