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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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You're on fire.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Sarah Palin

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So a seal walks into a club...

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops