Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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