Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

thumb_up thumb_down

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

69.9

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops