hrih

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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America Votes

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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