What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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