Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

Why was the man sad His got raped

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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