what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alex Gedrose.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops