what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

Religion.

shut up kobe!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

my hand is a DOLPHIN!

what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

aa

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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