why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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69

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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