Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Jews

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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