How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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Yo Mama So Fat ... She Look Like Dis ///(*<>*)\\\ | | | | <=> <=>

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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