What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops