What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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