Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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