What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Chlamydia

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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A fat guy!

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One, two, three, four and five

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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