What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

mitchell palmer sucks

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

charlie sheen becomes sober.

What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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