A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops