Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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This is not a joke

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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1+1=2

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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hard cheese

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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Cancer.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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