What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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