what did the farmer do? plant

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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this is stupid .... yep

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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