Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops