You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

who is mark

John Stamos.

Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

Cheese stick

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

What's big and fat? An obese man.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...