People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Gianni

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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