knock knock piss off

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...