knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What are we then hypocrites?

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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