How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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