How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Women"s Rights

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Do you need any assistance?

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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