What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

Knock knock Who's there? What.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

What lives underground? Grandpa

Knock Knock. Shut up.

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...