What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

i wish i was a tree !

So dont touch it

knock knock come in

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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