What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hej Erik och Leo!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

thumb_up thumb_down -30

24

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops