How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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