a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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can you pass the soap?

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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women's rights

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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