You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops