what rhymes with sloth? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

thumb_up thumb_down -31

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops