Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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